Dialysis or death!

Dialysis…What can I say? It’s not an easy form of treatment and often the style of dialysis is forced or chosen for you.

In my case as a transplant rejection kidney failure patient I didn’t have a choice again it was central line hemodialysis or death…which one would you choose? I choose to live because the only way to filter my blood was in this process called dialysis!

Dialysis is the process of removing excess water, solutes, and toxins from the blood in people whose kidneys can no longer perform these functions naturally. This is referred to as renal replacement therapy.

After my near-death experience at the newly opened Kolkata, Kolkata kidney institute (I would never suggest anyone do treatments there) where the doctor tried all possible treatments including plasma therapies and ITG injections but they were all of no use and the staffs were uneducated and unskilled. Which made my health more critical.

Again I began a dialysis treatment regimen in the hospital, all I know is the whole process confused me at first, the red cap line goes here, blue cap there, nurses scurrying around, machines beeping loudly, phones ringing, I remember the distinct smell and I really can remember coming off the machine and how I felt the first time, I felt terrible, nauseated, drained physically and mentally I was confused and in a state of shock. Initially at last it was not easy for me.

I had a crash course in my new world of living on dialysis. I kept thinking this would end soon but unfortunately, the legal process for the transplant itself is too complicated here in India and for now, I had to continue with dialysis if I wanted to survive!

I had multiple stays in the hospital and had been educated on dialysis, the side effects, the renal diet, and much more. I remember the dietitian coming in saying, “You must give up this and that” some foods that were listed were some of my favorites but again I knew I had to listen, learn and apply to my life, this was crucial for survival. I must admit my head was spinning from all the new info. I begin to realize that life as I knew it was forever changed and again, I had to make a choice, adapt or continue to be sick!

I continued with hemodialysis in the center at a local center, this experience could be a blog all by itself. I then had to deal with getting to know a whole new team of people, nurses, and technicians, and then there was the new schedule! I was scheduled to dialyze every Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday and I had to be there at 03:00 pm sharp, no excuses they would not put up with patients being late, but later with time all become very friendly and allowed me timing as per my convenience.

I slowly feel like I’m losing control of my life entirely, living again on a machine, with a new diet, a new team, and a new schedule! I’m just thinking how long this thing will go for me.

Though paperwork is on for transplant and hopefully this too will end.

I just need is all your love and prayers 🙏